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Updated: March 7, 2024

 

Hypocrisy in Marriage?

Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Scripture: Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. Matthew 6:2 (NKJV)

Observation:hypocrites” This compound term is literally translated “to judge under.” It could have meant (1) a theatrical word for speaking from behind a mask; or (2) its earlier usage was “to over interpret.” In this context it referred to religious play-acting.
Pharisees acted out religious rites and rituals in order to be praised by men, not in order to please God (although I am sure that was one of several motives).
1.     gave alms, not only to help the poor, but to be praised by men, Matt. 6:2
2.     prayed in the synagogue and in public to be seen by men, Matt. 6:5
3.     when they fasted they looked disheveled so men would be impressed with their spirituality, Matt. 6:16
4.     they tithed the kitchen supplies, but missed the weighty matters of the Law, Matt. 23:23
5.     they cleaned the outside of the cup, but not the inside, Matt. 23:25 (cf. Mark 7:1–8)
6.     they were self-righteous, Matt. 23:29–30
7.     they prevented others from entering the Kingdom, Matt. 23:13–15
8.     they tried to trap Jesus with tricky questions, not a search for true wisdom, Matt. 22:15–22
9.     they have a special place in hell, Matt. 24:51
10.     they were a whitewashed tomb full of uncleanness, Matt. 23:27 (cf. Dictionary of Biblical Imagery, p.415) [Utley, R. J. (2000). Vol. Volume 9: The First Christian Primer: Matthew. Study Guide Commentary Series. Marshall, TX: Bible Lessons International.]

Application: We’ve probably seen people who are very unkind and rude to each other in public.  They don’t care where they are or with whom they make snide remarks, use sarcasm, and sometimes even yell at each other as if there was nobody around them to see or hear them.  It is disconcerting, actually truly sad and even scary to see how two people who live together can treat each other that badly.
At the same time, I worry about those couples who look so good on the outside, who treat each other respectfully, maybe even cordially, in public, but who are living a totally different life behind closed doors.  I know of couples that make sweet, loving, appreciative posts on social media – which is wonderful, but then write me private messages telling me about their pain and suffering at home.
Now, I’m not suggesting you leave your spouse or your marriage because things are bad at home.  I am saying that we should aim at not being one type of person at home and someone different outside anymore than we should be one type of person at church and a different one away from church.   If our words and actions are different in different places it may be an indication that we have not had a true change of heart by God.  We may like certain behavior and practices some of the time, but deep inside darkness lurks inside our hearts, and that darkness shows up and shows through when we are with those closest to us, or at times when we are away from them.  That’s why Jesus refers to these type of people “whitewashed tombs,” because they may look good on the outside but  what is inside is rotten.
Let’s make sure our inside is good and pure so we may act inside our home as well as we do outside, and that our words and actions toward our loved ones may always reflect the relationship we have with Christ.

A Prayer You May Say: Father God, change us from the inside so that we may treat each other just like you treat us, lovingly and kindly.

Used by permission of Adventist Family Ministries, North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists.


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